Adopting couple shares story to help others
Whitney and Tyler Hinton are on a journey. Every Thursday, for six weeks, they have driven to Lexington for a three-hour class. After completing the classes, they will go through a series of interviews. Next, they will need to conquer paperwork, background checks, a home inspection, and creating a portfolio. Then, they wait for good news: a family has chosen them to adopt their baby.
The Hintons have been through a great deal of heartbreak, losing two children over the course of two years, leading to their decision to adopt. The following is their story in Whitney’s words. Their adoption story is continued beneath:
On June 15, 2014, we were married in Central Park in Ashland, Ky, surrounded by our family and friends. We immediately started talking about children and growing our family. On April 11, 2015 we found out we were pregnant with our first child. I had a pretty typical pregnancy. Lots of morning sickness but nothing out of the
ordinary. We had our first appointment on May 26th. Everything was perfect. The baby had a strong heartbeat and I was around 11 weeks pregnant. We were so excited to welcome our first child. December just couldn’t come soon enough.
Fast forward to July 20th. I had some spotting and intense cramping. I was up all night. Around 7a.m. I woke Tyler up and we rushed to Kings Daughters Medical Center. We found out I was in pre-term labor. Our doctor explained to us there was nothing we could do except deliver our baby. I was rushed back to a delivery room and a little while later we met our sweet baby girl, Avalyn Brielle Hinton. Our beautiful daughter was born sleeping. Our hearts were completely broken. What was supposed to be the happiest day of our lives, quickly turned into one of the hardest and darkest days of our lives. We spent every second we could holding our daughter, loving her, and soaking in every detail of her tiny body. She had her daddy’s lips, and her momma’s nose. She was our perfect angel. On July 24, 2015, we buried our baby girl. We had a small graveside service with our closest friends and family. On a day that was incredibly devastating and emotional, God chose to show us that our sweet daughter was just fine. Looking back on that day, I can’t help but see God’s grace and mercy. He surrounded our entire car in butterflies as we parked at the cemetery. The balloons we released that day, created a cross in the sky. He is so good. And even in the midst of heartache, He always finds a way to show us He is there. I praise Him for those signs from that day. He is so sweet to His children! In the middle of all of this, we began going to church again. Without God’s love and grace, we could not have made it through this time in our lives. We still had really hard days. I was very hard on myself. I had constant thoughts of failing my husband, my child, and myself. Tyler was a constant support. He was always reassuring me that I had not done anything wrong and that I was a good mother. Even as he was dealing with his own emotions, he was always there to lift me up and comfort me. I could not have made it without God and my husband. We began praying every night together that God would give us a healthy baby. On February 1, 2016, we found out we were expecting our second child. On April 27th, we found out our sweet baby was a boy!!! Connor Samuel Hinton. That appointment went great and I was about 17 weeks pregnant. We were nervous, excited, anxious, and scared. But we couldn’t wait to hold our sweet boy. On May 4th, our world came crashing down around us. The fear we had was now our reality. I was in pre-term labor again. I was in complete shock. I couldn’t stop shaking. I did not understand why this was happening to our family again. I just wanted my baby boy to be okay. We were rushed to UK Hospital in Lexington, Ky. by ambulance, praying I wouldn't deliver on the way. We were terrified. The next day when my contractions had stopped, I had a procedure done on my cervix to keep it closed and keep Connor in there for as long as possible. I was on a lot of antibiotics to keep from getting an infection.
On May 10th, I woke up in excruciating pain. After a couple of hours, we found I had developed an infection. The only thing we could do was deliver Connor before the infection got any worse. At 4:50p.m., we met our strong boy. He lived for 2 hours and 5 minutes.
We buried our sweet boy on May 12th right beside his big sister. I haven’t told many people, but in the weeks after losing our son, I allowed myself to go to a dark place. I was depressed. I spent most days crying and asking why. My heart was broken. I called out to God every day. Sometimes I would pray and other times all I could do was just cry and say His name. In that time, God truly began to do a work in my life. He began healing my heart and showing us what His plan for our life was. He is still healing me. I would be lying if I told you I am completely through the tough days. I will always have tough days. That will never end and that’s okay. But God is making this journey easier and more beautiful than we ever could on our own. Fast forward to October 2017. After a lot of prayer and discussion with each other, we knew God was calling us to adopt. On October 9th, we met with the directors of the adoption program at the Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Lexington and began our adoption journey. We are choosing adoption because God has put this on our hearts. We have so much love to give to a child and we believe adoption is how we are supposed to grow our family.
At first, Whitney and Tyler had decided to go through with a private adoption, but after multiple adoptions fell through, they looked into other options.
“We were very nervous when we found out our agency only worked with open adoptions,” Whitney said. “We were a little uneasy with the thought of the birth family having contact with our child once we brought it home. It really had nothing to do with the birth family and everything to do with our own scars of loss and heartache.”
Whitney said that after a lot of research and discussion with their agency, she and Tyler decided to go through with an open adoption.
“We now understand an open adoption is really the best choice for our child,” Whitney said. “When all of the parents come together to just love and support their child, adoption is a very beautiful experience. As a parent, what more could you want for your child than love and support?”
The Hintons have a Facebook page dedicated to their adoption journey called "Adopting Baby Hinton." Whitney said it was completely out of her comfort zone.
“We had talked about creating something for months but I could never work up the courage to do it,” Whitney said. “I knew we needed a way to update people and tell them what was going on.”
Before creating the page, the Hintons had only shared their story with their family and close friends.
“One weekend I decided to just do it. I sat down and started writing our story,” Whitney said. “I have told that story so many times. I know it like the back of my hand. It’s my life. Those babies are my entire heart, and I can tell it with ease now,”
Whitney said she had not anticipated how hard it would be to write out their story.
“When I started writing every detail and remembering every little thing about each of them, my heart started breaking all over again,” Whitney said. “I prayed God would help me get through it and write down exactly what everyone needed to know.”
After writing their story, Whitney posted it on the “Adopting Baby Hinton” Facebook page and invited her entire list of Facebook friends. She said that if they could help at least one person who was going through the same thing, it would all be worth it.
The Hintons said they were nervous, but wanted to share their story.
“We were putting everything out there for everyone to read. But when it comes to our babies, we are an open book,” Whitney said. “We want everyone to see the power of God in our lives. The peace we have is only from Him. He is the only reason we have been able to make it through these excruciating times in our lives. It was not easy but He loved us, held us, and carried us through it all.”
In addition to sharing their story, Whitney and Tyler use their Facebook page as a way to keep everyone updated on their adoption process, as well as share information about their fundraisers.
The Hintons have estimated their total cost to adopt be around $15,000. So far, the couple has raised $2,000.
“We have been so incredibly overwhelmed with the help, love, support and prayers we have received since we announced our adoption.” Whitney said. “It’s been a blessing to see God’s people come together and support us in any way they can.”
When asked if she had any advice for parents going through the loss of a child, Whitney said to embrace one’s support system.
“Hold on to your spouse. Hold on to God. And hold on to the promise that you will see your precious baby again. These were the only things that got me through the loss of our babies,” Whitney said. “I won’t lie, it was excruciatingly hard. Those were really dark days, but God never left me. Tyler never left me. God reminded me daily that I would see my children again. He has been so faithful to us.”
The Hintons are planning a poker-run on April 21st in Ashland, Ky. Details can be found on the “Adopting Baby Hinton” Facebook page.